I'll be home for Christmas...

"I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me..." These familiar words, sung by many artists over the years evoke different emotions and images for each of us. No doubt, as you read the opening sentence, the familiar tune immediately popped into your head along with the voice of your favorite artist and a cozy Christmas image. For me it will always be Bing Crosby and an image of me sipping a cup of hot chocolate, while enjoying several generations of family in a festive living room, laughing!

The truth is, I'm not sure why that's the image that most often pops into my head. It's not at all how most of my holidays were. When I think about the meaning of this song, the definition has stayed, but it has looked different through the years.

When I was a child, "home for Christmas" meant mom! My mom was my home. We moved often because of the military and often because of difficult situations in our life. Sometimes it was just mom, me and my brother, other times it was all six of us. Sometimes we had a little, and sometimes we had more. But whatever it was, mom made it work and she was the magic behind Christmas.

As a young mom "home for Christmas" took on two forms. We had our special Christmas with our little family, where we got to develop our own sweet traditions and memories. Then we would travel across the United States or the world to be with our extended family in TN as often we were stationed far away. If one part of that was missing, we felt like were missing part of our home.

As a military wife, "home for Christmas" sometimes meant that he wasn't home for that day. And that part in the song "if only in my dreams!" took on a real deep meaning for us as a couple and a family. It felt like he was "home for Christmas" when he arrived back safely and we were celebrating everything he missed, even in March, April...it didn't matter!

As an empty nester, I'm just learning what "home for Christmas" looks like. I thought it would be when the kids would come back to our house like we did to celebrate with our families. But, that's not what it looks like for us. We met in the middle last year, between North Carolina and Tennessee. This year, my husband and I will be traveling to them and having Christmas in their homes. We have not had Christmas in our house for a little while. But I feel like I'm home every time I'm with my whole family! So, "home for Christmas" in this empty nest season is really wherever my family is!

What I have learned as I have contemplated this song, is that traditions change as life changes. However, what we celebrate is constant; The birth of Jesus and the love of our family! If you are struggling with change and longing for the past this Christmas, remember to be gentle with yourself, change takes time. Your new normal for Christmas may look different than you expected it to. Leaving yourself open for the fun as you work through the hard may help you discover what you can call your "home for Christmas" during this season of your life!

Here are some ways to practice being gentle with yourself this Christmas:

• Set realistic expectations for you and your loved ones

• Talk to yourself with kindness

• Be aware of your feelings (you may find it helpful to journal them)

• Take breaks when you need to

What does being "Home for Christmas" look like for you?

How have you practiced being gentle with yourself in the past?